Gatecrash Prerelease Haiku

The Simic Evolve
The Gruul are Aggressive
I had no mana.

- Gatecrash Prerelease Haiku

Re: Google Haters.

I was just reading a thread on Reddit, the Google hate was strong today. The TL;DR of this is, if you don't like Google, fuck you. Google has enriched my life and changed it for the better. If you don't like that they sell your information, don't use them. Nothing is free.

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Here is why I love Google. They made my life easier.

Before Gmail, email was an issue. Hotmail/Yahoo and other free providers sucked and still do. ISP email addresses could easily disappear if I moved or changed providers. Email was a fucking nightmare. Then came gmail. I've been using it for 8 years, it hasn't changed, my emails are still there. I no longer worry about losing important information because I moved, or lost a hard drive.

Then came Google Docs. Allowing me to store important documents forever. Another major improvement to my life. Now I don't have to rebuild my, for example, Resume every time. I can just load up an old one, anywhere, anytime on any device. This one feature just got me an interview recently. I was talking to someone about work/IT and he asked me for my Resume. Of course I don't carry paper resumes with me at all times so I loaded it up on my phone and showed it to him, then emailed it to him right there.

Next major improvement: Android. Fuck I love Android. Smart Phones are the way of the future. We now have the entire sum of human intelligence and knowledge at our finger tips, and now it fits into your pocket. Android paves the way for this, and Google gives it out for free.

Before all this was the search engine. Say what you will, but prior to Google, searching for a topic in Yahoo/Altavista/etc was a bitch. First time I used Google, I got my answer in one go. Done. No random searching, no going through linkfarms that looked right on the search page, etc. Fucking done. I haven't looked back since.

What else has Google given us?
* Chrome - Great Browser, saves Bookmarks (omg, this is a beautiful feature. This alone made me switch. The speed of the browser made me stay)
* Google Earth/Maps - Best Mapping software out there. I doubt many people remember GPS without Google Maps. Lets just say ending up on a dead end road wasn't a rare event, or a road that goes into a river.
* Google Music - I personally don't use it much (Spotify fits my needs right now) But its a great music delivery system. Also uploading your own MP3s? WHO DOES THAT?
* Google Voice - Hmm, generating a phone number on the fly and forwarding it to my cell? For Free? This has been a Boon in many ways, most notably for me Craigslist. (You get more replies if you have a phone number) This is just the tip of the iceberg
* Youtube - Cats in Socks? Ok. Anything else I want to see? Its there. Nothing has ever existed quite like Youtube.
* Google Calendar - Professional level Calendar available on almost any device? This one thing has been a great improvement in my life as well. "Where was I on the night of Dec. 12th 2008? Well let me check and see officer." (exaggeration sure, but knowing where I was years ago come up more than one, Google Calendar saved my ass every time)

I'm sorry. No single company has improved more of my Life more than Google has in the past 10 years. To risk sounding like a iTard, It just works. I never have to worry when a piece of hardware dies if I can save my Bookmarks, or my Emails, or my Documents. Just reinstalled Windows, SHIT forgot to back up X. It hasn't happened since Google came into my life.

People want to bitch about Google's privacy and they sell your data, well guess what. Every fucking company does it. You think they give this stuff out for free? Everything costs money in this world, even if we don't believe it should. Don't like it, use something else.

So thank you Google. You have made my life easier, you have enriched my life by providing great services, entertainment and a worry-free computer using existence. Thank you.

3D Printing - What is old is new again

I keep reading that 3D printing is the way of the future. However every time I read this, I can't help but think about one of these:

Yep, thats a CNC machine. It too is a '3D printer'. They even make smaller versions called benchtop CNC machines. The one pictured is big enough to create a car rim. Even prints in metal which most of these new ones cannot do. So next time you hear about 3D printing being the next big thing, just remember this:

This isn't new technology. It just puts this technology into the hands of the masses.

FNM Haiku

I always rare draft
I drew all of my land
I lost the draft

TF2 Autocrafting

This may be late to the party, but I haven't cleaned out my Idle accounts in quite some time. The daunting task of loading each account up, doing multiple trades with an autocraft bot put me off. So much so I went past the 200 item 'limit' Steam Item Manager had for autocrafting. (What I mean by that is, the program will crash or take several hours when your inventory is too large)

Previously I would use one of two methods to craft my items:

* Find a scrap bot, and meticilously trade for each account. (Taking 2-3 trades per account)

* Do it manually. (Normally while watching TV)

* Hope I don't hit the magic limit in SIM and use that to cut half my workload down.

So I decided to load up SIM on a laptop and let it run on a few accounts for the next few days, low and behold there was an update! 

Some new features it added that I care about for idling:

* Allow Autocraft for non-duplicate items.

* Actually autocrafts to refined

* Autocrafts in aprox 2-3 seconds for a 1000 item backpack.

All I can say is... Nice. Thank you for updating and making the tool usable. =)

Steam Item Manager

Vapor Nine (V9) Review

It started with a random reddit link offering a free E-Cigarette if you pay shipping, so why not? What's the worst that can happen, I'm out $2? I've had worse experiences with cheap E-Cigs from random locations for much more. Ordered Thursday and patiently waited for it to arrive promptly Tuesday morning. 

I've been sucking on a cheap 7-11 X-Hale o2 (Second gen) that I picked up at the start of the year for an impromptu car trip with non-smokers with my normal Camels in between when the o2 doesn't seem to cut it. While it works, its not that great and the stock flavor kinda tastes bad. I sadly ran out of my wonderful vanilla flavor a few weeks ago and have had to suffice with the stock flavor. (Thank you US Customs for "losing" my imports 5 times in a row now.)

So I ripped open the package to see what my prize was and I was greeted with a thank you letter from the V9 guys, even signed in pen! That's rather personalized, I like it. Not to mention a 20% off coupon to boot. So far so good.

Now the packaging on the product itself is, lets say sturdy. It took me a good 5 minutes to open the thing without possibly damaging my new toy with a pocket knife assisting. It came with 2 filters (16mg/each), a 280 mAh li-ion (4.2V) battery and USB plugin charger, pretty standard stuff. Sadly the charger isn't branded meaning it may get lost or mixed up with the glut of other e-cig chargers I have lying around which may not be an issue with anyone else. The 4.2V battery is a refreshing change from the normal 2.2V or 3.3V you normally get with a $20 kit. The filters also have a very nice feel to them, very soft. Compared to other low-costed E-Cigs this felt like a premium bonus.

So I plugged it in and let it charge (it only took about 5 mins to charge after being shipped, must of been fully charged when they packaged it). Hooked up the tip and took a deep breath while looking at the blue LED...

Wow. First thing that hit me was how smooth it was. Wasn't harsh like other cheaper flavors, and for me this is a huge plus as I inhale deeply while smoking. The flavor of the Carolina was extremely nice and soothing, sort of a cross between mint and regular tobacco with a sweet aftertaste. The quaility of the flavor is something I haven't tasted with a sub $20 e-cig kit before and frankly its a nice change of pace. I'll be picking up some more later on for sure.

Now some nitpicks, the battery has a 'paper' feel to it. It seems like it would chip or discolor easily making the appearance of the e-cig less nice. I'm also not a fan of blue LEDs. Seriously hate the things and I may have to open it up and replace it with a nice green or purple. Also the packaging is pretty tight and a pain to open, I appreciate protecting the product. 

Overall I'm impressed.

Check em out, you won't be disappointed!

http://www.vapornine.com/

Team Fortress 2 Mann vs Machine: The Standard team

Team Fortress 2's newest update Mann vs Machine adds an exciting and dynamic new game mode offering new strategies and methods of playing not normally seen in normal play. Since it's release, I've played quite a bit of Mann vs Machine's Mann up mode. I've won and lost a lot and will present what I find to be the best standardized team to wreck those robots and achieve easy victories.

So what classes should be played? Its simple really. Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Heavy, Medic and Engineer. This setup provides the most diverse, best damage potential and overall utility needed to defeat any wave that's thrown at it.

The Scout

Primary: Scattergun
Secondary: Mad Milk
Melee: Sandman
MvM Job: Money Grabbing, medic/sniper picks
Upgrade Priority: Resistances, Milk Speed, Sandman Mark on Hit

The Scout is essential to a successful Mann up engagement. Money is the life blood of the merc's ability to obliterate later stages of any map, and the Scout is the number 1 class for picking up money. As a scout, your primary job is to get that money. Any lost money is a direct reflection on your ability, and those $100 bonuses add up. When you aren't grabbing money your focus should be on taking out snipers and medics. A full scattergun shot on a medic will one shot it, this is important when the Soldier is out of range or out of Crit canteens.

Depending on the map, the -35% speed upgrade on your Mad Milk is one of the most critical upgrades in the game. It slows down giant scouts, and keeps your team healed up with it's natural ability. Its wide spread is also great for slowing down large groups of small scouts. The next upgrade on your list should be the Sandman's Mark target on hit, $500. It allows you to mark a target from a distance and let your team kill it much quicker. It is vitally important to both Milk and Mark a giant bot from a far since you'll be torn to shreds if you get too close. For this reason alone, the Sandman is much better than the Fan of War.

While it completely depends on the map, your upgrade stratgey should be resistances first. Because money is so important, you don't want to die and want to be able to survive encounters in the midst of a bot horde. I typically get Blast/Bullet to max, Fire resistance and on the waves that matter at LEAST 2 points into critical resistance, without it Giant soldiers will ruin your day. Getting at least 2 levels in Mad Milk recharge rate is essential for later waves, it should be spammed at any large group of bots, and always be ready for giant scouts.

Upgrading your scattergun is unneeded as it does plenty of damage on its own. Its great for taking out all the small bots (sans Fists of Steel heavies) and can One-shot a good chunk of them with a solid body shot. Your main job isn't to kill, so focus on Resistances/Milk/Sandman Upgrades.
Don't forget about the money, ever.

The Soldier

Primary: Beggar's Bazooka
Secondary: Buff Banner
Melee: Escape Plan
MvM Job: Indiscriminate carpet bombing
Upgrade Priority: Rocket Reload, Rocket Clip Size, Rocket Ammo Capacity, Rocket Damage


As a soldier, your primary job is to carpet bomb the hordes of robots coming in. Try not to stand too far to avoid the "50 damage syndrome" and move up close to get some extra damage bonus. Once upgraded you are a true force to be reckoned with.
While the stock rocket launcher is an excellent weapon for Mann vs Machine, the Beggar's Bazooka is just a better overall choice. Between doing more damage during crit canteens, to a better spread for uber medic slaughtering, the Bazooka is significantly better than the stock. Both can be used with equal effect, but the Bazooka is just better since it works with Kritz Medics and crit canteens more smoothly.
You are a roaming glass cannon. Stay close to the front lines for as much damage as possible, but don't get too close. Since rocket launcher upgrades are so expensive, you can't feasibly fit in enough resistances to make a difference.

Make sure to communicate with your medic to get the most out of his krits during tank rounds. Have him krit you for your volley of 9-11 rockets, then quickly switch over to the heavy. Don't let him waste valuable krit time while you reload.

Upgrading is pretty fluid for the Soldier. The first upgrades you should get is the reload speed. Less time you spend reloading, the more damage you do. After that, Firing speed, Clip size, total ammo, and if really needed +hp on kills. Rockets do plenty of damage on their own, so throwing 400 for a 20% damage bonus can wait for later waves when you're done with the needed upgrades.

The Medic

Primary: Crusader's Crossbow
Secondary: Kritzkrieg
Melee: The Amputator
Hat: Team Captain
MvM Job: Healing, Kritzing, Pyro buddy
Upgrade Priority: Uber charge rate, Uber Charge duration, Heal Speed, Over-heal amount, Vial sharing

You are the life blood of the team. Without you, your team will constantly die and have to respawn. With you, your Pyro will be useful in horde waves, and your heavy able to stand toe to toe with a Deflector Heavy. You are also the eyes and ears of your team, calling out spies, spotting snipers and calling out cash locations for the scout.

During the early waves, you should be up close and personal with the pyro. Keeping him alive should be your utmost priority. Once the game progresses and he has his resistances up, you can move back to the heavy for the larger robots.

Kritizing is the most important thing you can do. Either the pyro or heavy are the best bets, early I suggest going with the pyro, then later on moving to the heavy. Once you get vial sharing, load up on crit canteens and spam them during recharge times. Since you are a non-damage class, adding crit canteens and kritz will make up for your loss, even (if played perfectly) add more damage than another damage dealing class would.

Keep your eyes open for dangers, and play defensibly and keep your team aware of spies and possible snipers. If you have to go chase down a bot, something has gone seriously wrong.

The Pyro

Primary: Stock Flamethrower

Secondary: Flaregun/Shotgun

Melee: Homewrecker

MvM Job: Airblasting, health reducer

Upgrade Priority: Resistances, Flamethrower ammo, Flamethrower Airblast Power

Mmmph Mmmph Mpph. Mmmph Mmmph mmmmmph mph! mmmmph mmmmmm, mmmmph mph. mmmmph mph mmph. Hurrrrrrrrruuuuuu!

Your job is simple. Keep the bomb from reaching its target. Know your bomb reset locations and airblast those bots back to hell. Outside of playing pong with the bots, your job is to do as much damage as possible. During horde waves, get up close with the medic and go wild. During tank waves, let the tank push you while ducking for extra damage to bots behind the tank. Keep your eyes on the sides and be ready to airblast bomb carriers or giant robots that try to get past it.
Load up on uber canteens, it will make airblasting giants on the decoy missions MUCH easier. Try to upgrade equally however, getting extra ammo, airblast power and resistances all at the same time. Health on kill is nice but not necessary beyond the first wave or two and frankly kind of a waste, same goes for afterburn damage and time.

Make sure you know where the bomb is at all times, and have your team work with you to keep a "toy" robot with the bomb in a constant circle. If you can keep it up, they'll never be able to cap the bomb.
Outside of the primary Flamethrower upgrades and resistances, don't bother upgrading much else. Save the money for uber canteens. On later stages it will take 1 uber to push 1 giant robot to the reset area. Keep this in mind when you think about getting Jump height, or homewrecker damage or any other useless upgrade.

During tank rounds, get up there with the heavy, duck and let the tank push you while you shoot it. Your flames will go through it and hit the robots behind it doubling your damage. When it gets to the "line" (aka, where the heavy normally sits) back off and go after the bots that spawn, and bring the medic with you.

You make the difference between winning and losing on some of the harder missions more than any other class.

The Heavy

Primary: Stock Minigun
Secondary: Sandvitch
Melee: Gloves of running urgently
MvM Job: Damage, Crowd Control
Upgrade Priority: Minigun ammo, Rage, Minigun attack speed

Dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka-da-Kaboom-Kaboom!

You are the line. You determine how far the robots get. You are the centerpost of the MvM team's line. Your position determines everything.
The first upgrade you should get is, regardless of map is Round Penetration 1. It effectively doubles your damage right there on the spot. Since you aren't always on the front lines, your 5 damage shots turn into 10 when they hit the bot behind them. You don't need much more than 1 level of this, as its rare to see a long line of bots to make use of this expensive upgrade. Subsequent upgrades should be ammo (very very important), Minigun attack speed. On heavy projectile rounds, Grab Projectile destruction as it will do more to keep you and your team alive than any other upgrade.
Most maps, Rage is extremely important for crowd control. While it might not seem useful, pushing giants back, and the bomb carriers is extremely useful at keeping your front line. If the opportunity arises, raging on sentry busters is also quite good.
My thoughts on the Brass Beast vs Minigun debate: Mobility is better than the damage. You can avoid snipers while spinning a minigun, you can't when you have the brass beast. During tank rounds you'll run out of ammo quick and have to stop firing with the brass beast. With a minigun and proper dispenser placement you can just move away for a moment, and never stop firing. Also positioning yourself directly in line of the bomb and making full use of Penetrating rounds DOUBLES your damage over the brass beast. In my mind, there is no substitute for the Stock minigun in this mode. If you can't see your enemies, how can you shoot them?
For gameplay, make sure you never have to leave the line. On Decoy the spot is the right side of the main "hallway" near the stairs. On Coal town its at the top of the ramp to the right side. (The ammo box is your lifeblood here) And on Mannworks its dependant on which side the bots are going, on the ground (to make use of the armor piercing rounds).
Just remember, your medic is best served on the PYRO not you. Fend for yourself and fire from afar. Don't forget to get to point blank range on tanks. Every time you aren't doing max damage on a tank, Saxton Hale rips a kittens head off and drinks the blood from it's body.

The Engineer

Primary: Shotgun/Posmon
Secondary: Wrangler
Melee: Wrench
MvM Job: Area Denial, Support
Upgrade Priority: Wrench Attack Speed, Building health, Dispenser range.

While I admit I don't play engineer very often, I'll tell you what I've seen done that makes for the best teams.

Dispenser placement. Should always go near the heavy. If he has to leave to get ammo, the line crumbles. Place your sentry near a full ammo box and rely on that instead of your dispenser. Once you begin upgrading dispenser range the line will become more flexible. You are the component to determine how versatile your teammates are.
Proper sentry placement is key. There are a few universal places, such as the top right catwalk on Decoy, or the top right building on Coaltown. Use them.

Make sure your teleporters are facing the right direction and slightly behind the heavy's line. This allows your team to get quickly back into battle. Two-way teleporters are useful but unnecessary.

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I feel this is the best setup for any MvM team, and when people follow these guidelines we tend to succeed with little failures. Just remember this is a team heavy mode. Communicate, and don't play your pet classes/weapons when your team depends on you.